ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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