i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
