I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
