Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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