You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
