I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
