I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
