i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize