Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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