i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
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I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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