Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
