I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
