just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
