I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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