I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
