Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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