redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
