...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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