if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
