yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize