I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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