shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
