Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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