oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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