Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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