I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize