Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
