it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
