he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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