is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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