oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
