'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
