Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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