someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
