dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
