i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
