Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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