i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
