I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
