i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"