how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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