he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
