I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You left your underwear on the fireplace
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
