sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
