im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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