you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
