I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
