Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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