I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
