you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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