i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
