If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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