This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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