Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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  (415): I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys. http://tfl.nu/rxe7
  Replies (14) Good night (2593) Bad night (690)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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  (763): there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it http://tfl.nu/ck34
  Replies (50) Good night (1773) Bad night (3410)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??

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  (864): Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others?? http://tfl.nu/cnvm
  Replies (102) Good night (7146) Bad night (2452)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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  (709): I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again. http://tfl.nu/ujyy
  Replies (19) Good night (5979) Bad night (715)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.

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  (540): I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen. http://tfl.nu/c2d0
  Replies (14) Good night (5588) Bad night (1009)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

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  (718): Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much. http://tfl.nu/absj
  Replies (15) Good night (5740) Bad night (1844)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.

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  (413): im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask. http://tfl.nu/in4y
  Replies (14) Good night (4801) Bad night (1005)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.

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  (757): I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game. http://tfl.nu/w4nu
  Replies (16) Good night (1116) Bad night (2747)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me

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  (319): You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me http://tfl.nu/8yrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1902) Bad night (1323)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.

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  (678): God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job. http://tfl.nu/ew2c
  Replies (2) Good night (1463) Bad night (907)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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  (641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx
  Replies (13) Good night (1683) Bad night (848)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.

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  (563): You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing. http://tfl.nu/fl0p
  Replies (12) Good night (1987) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.

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  (604): Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl. http://tfl.nu/vf15
  Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (1209)
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  (714): View more from California

  I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again

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  (714): I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again http://tfl.nu/ze4i
  Replies (5) Good night (659) Bad night (1882)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am

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  (765): i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am http://tfl.nu/zc5y
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (330)

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