She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after