I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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