Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!