Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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  (309): I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/zzns
  Replies (35) Good night (3789) Bad night (1458)
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  (818): View more from California

  dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks

  (626): View more from California

  well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person

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  (818): dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks (626): well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person http://tfl.nu/xqyj
  Replies (13) Good night (6686) Bad night (1061)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.

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  (240): I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it. http://tfl.nu/okvp
  Replies (4) Good night (4493) Bad night (968)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating

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  (704): i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating http://tfl.nu/bh4g
  Replies (22) Good night (3447) Bad night (1276)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.

  (786): View more from Florida

  that would mean it's on tape

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  (804): i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately. (804): i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof. (786): that would mean it's on tape http://tfl.nu/zipf
  Replies (6) Good night (3872) Bad night (899)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

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  (336): Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex. http://tfl.nu/1j3r
  Replies (36) Good night (961) Bad night (5907)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.

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  (541): She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad. http://tfl.nu/yao2
  Replies (9) Good night (750) Bad night (2934)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  i wish i coudl send you meat via computure

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  (409): i wish i coudl send you meat via computure http://tfl.nu/wiw5
  Replies (3) Good night (1909) Bad night (721)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.

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  (803): could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning. http://tfl.nu/cs20
  Replies (2) Good night (1178) Bad night (556)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.

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  (514): Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance. http://tfl.nu/bud1
  Replies (4) Good night (1236) Bad night (525)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

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  (208): Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all. http://tfl.nu/lyhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (394)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.

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  (586): I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science. http://tfl.nu/0s8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1369) Bad night (586)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.

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  (918): I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand. http://tfl.nu/relm
  Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (520)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"

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  (814): Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!" http://tfl.nu/rgls
  Replies (7) Good night (284) Bad night (360)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.

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  (661): I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera. http://tfl.nu/brbw
  Replies (0) Good night (338) Bad night (191)

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