If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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