I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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