We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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