oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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