I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
