they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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