Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
